high school was not the best years for me. just a lot has happened through those years. being bullied was really hard at that time and i know it is to all the kids. no kid should go through it.
like i said in my testimony, people would hurt me and be disrespectful toward me. i didn’t even know them. it was just because people would spread rumors that are not true and at that age you would believe anything. i went to 4 different high schools because i would get into fight by kids that would bully me. i use to come home, put a smile in front of my brother and mother and after i would talk to them. i would go straight into my room and cry all night. i would barley eat and i would at least only have 3 to 4 hours of sleep. but when the morning came i would go to school and only sit through 2nd period and ditch to go to a park or a friend’s house that didn’t go to the same school with me. she was home schooled and i use to talk to her and sleep.
but then my mom found out i wasn’t going to school much, she sat me down to talk to her and i just started crying before she could even say anything to me. she asked me “what’s wrong, sweetie?” i didn’t want to tell her because i didn’t want to be a snitch. i couldn’t help myself, i felt weak and hopeless. so i told her. she cried with me and we had a long talk on a plan to get me help. i went to counseling for 5 years because that pain hurt so much. i use to ask myself..”what is wrong with me?…”why am i like this?”…”no one can help” i had suicidal thoughts and i know it wasn’t good for me. but my mother help me get through all that and never gave up on me.
few years after i got saved, i was reading in the Bible and i saw a verse that caught my eye.
“And now, brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8)
i felt like God wanted me to stop thinking about what people did to me and i discover that one key to loving God is choosing NOT to CRY on the PAST or on BAD MEMORIES. God didn’t want me to spend my time on thinking of all the past memories that made me felt like i was in a black hole. so i told myself not to waste my energy on thinking what wasn’t true or real because its in the past now. i needed to start putting my faith first and see the truth. that is now and real! Read and obeying God’s word to see the true and real is not an easy thing to do. Thanks to God, He helps us get through it.
i stared to think about what God wanted me to do. putting my faith first!
You are loving God. With His help, His word, and His spirit, you can win over negative emotions, hurtful thoughts and vicious attitudes. God can see , hear and knows all about the pains of his people. He also remembers his promises, cares about his people,and acts on their behalf and for the good. God hears us when we are trouble and He will always be there for us no matter what.
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you” (1 peter 5:7)
My faith in God’s caring and concerned nature is strengthened. the teaching is clear: God cares about and for his people. including ME and YOU! start thinking the truth about God’s word! Place the Bible’s truth before we think or feel. The Bible is important truth that
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9
as believers in Christ, are forgiven regardless of our feeling and thoughts. The Bible is true, not your feelings or your thoughts
Heavenly Father, you forgiven me from my unrighteousness thoughts and feelings. i know you see and hear my pain and i Thank you for helping me get through them and not by myself. thank you for taking away these emotions, and wrong thinking that was hurting me. You are always a good father to me. In Jesus Name! Amen!